by Chris Harnick
1. Kelly Osbourne is decapitated by shark. On a plane.
2. Tara Reid's hand is bitten off by a shark. On a plane.
3. The cameos: Perez Hilton is killed, but Jared Fogle, the Subway guy, survives and is just sitting around waiting for the subway. Plus, Tracie Thoms and Biz Markie, Robert Klein, Sandra "Pepa" Denton of Salt-n-Pepa...
4. Matt Lauer and Al Roker seemingly have more screen time than Tara Reid. They survive, all limbs intact, and kill a shark in the Today studio. Why not?
5. The head of the Statue of Liberty kills that guy from Shark Tank.
6. Tara Reid makes it so a shark gets run over by an ambulance.
7. Tara Reid pulls up in a fire truck and asks the guys if they need a ride.
8. Taxi star and Oscar nominee, Tony and Emmy winner Judd Hirsch is in it. He plays a cab driver.
9. Mark McGarth survives the entire thing.
10. Vivica A. Fox basically kicks a ton of butt and then gets electrocuted and eaten mid-air. What?
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