I buy Drano In Illinois

I don't know about you, but for me buying Drano is a semi-annual exercise. We have a small, quirky shower drain and I have thick hair and so every 6 month or so I go and pick up a bottle of Drano because it is easier to use than to unscrew the rosette and go fishing with the special plastic drain hook that I have. So I go to Target today and get my milk, my bread, some lipstick, and Drano; and at the checkout the clerk says, apologetically, that I need to show photo ID to buy Drano. Yes, photo ID to be put in a database of villainous Drano buyers because...Republicans. The Illinois legislature, reacting to the crime spree of two people misusing Drano, has passed legislation saying that all stores selling Drano must record the sale. Never mind that Officer Jones still wont be able to figure out who used Drano in that last bank robbery, because only 100,000 people bought Drano last year, the bottles have no registration numbers, and plumbers are exempt, and who knows if someone broke into a garage and stole some Drano, but now we can all sleep sounder because now we can just be shot instead from some gun bought in Indiana. Of course it could be worse...the original legislation would have made you have to show ID to buy vinegar, because, you know..acid.


  1. OMG, it's like right up there with breast milk. Don't cross a state line with that stuff.


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