Discount Furnace Filters

You may wonder why there is a picture of Alice with "furnace filters". It's because the size, location and placement of my furnace filter is exactly where that little door is, and to open it you need a very small adjustable wrench, about the size of Alice's key. Once you get the compartment open, it's not hard to slide the filter out, assuming there isn't a chipmunk mummy stuck in it. And twice a year it needs to be replaced so that we aren't blowing dust, dirt and chipmunk molecules throughout the house. Of course this filter is not the size of any filter I can buy at Home Depot. It is a "box filter" 16 by 25 by 3 inches, stuffed with some kind of high-tech fiber spun from cyborg spiders somewhere in China, because each filter costs around 30.00 USD. So I buy them online, from the helpful folks at Discount Furnace Filters. com, the last refuge of the desperate looking for the odd-sized filter. It is an easy place to shop, especially if you know the part number. I know the part number because some previous harassed owner of the house wrote the size and part number on a card and taped it to the furnace; no doubt tired of climbing down on their hands and knees, changing to a different pair of glasses, finding the tiny wrench and opening the compartment to read the numbers on the filter already installed. So I pick out my filters, go to the checkout and then realize that I have NO CLUE what my password is. Or if I had a password. I just want to pay with PayPal and leave, but no, I have to fill out forms, and as soon as I do the PayPal button vanishes, so I have to get up and find my credit card, change my glasses, enter with great unhappiness my personal details, and then my filters are on their way. I spend another 10 minutes filling out a third party survey, looking for a box where I can ask about the missing PayPal button. The survey crashes because I put in a % sign when they asked me how much I got off from using a coupon. I finally get the survey successfully completed, ignore the "get a magazine free for one year and then we will autobill you forever" "prize" at the end, and finally escape to find that they would like me to review my purchase. I decline to write an ode to a furnace filter, because I would write: "It's overpriced but I am hoping by paying too much that it means it will not catch on fire. The last two I bought fit in the space and seemed to work. I hate buying them because it means summer is over and soon I will be trying to decide where to put a humidifier and shocking the cats with static electricity every time they walk across my polyester blankets." Sometimes less is more in advertising.