Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Discount Furnace Filters


You may wonder why there is a picture of Alice with "furnace filters". It's because the size, location and placement of my furnace filter is exactly where that little door is, and to open it you need a very small adjustable wrench, about the size of Alice's key. Once you get the compartment open, it's not hard to slide the filter out, assuming there isn't a chipmunk mummy stuck in it. And twice a year it needs to be replaced so that we aren't blowing dust, dirt and chipmunk molecules throughout the house. Of course this filter is not the size of any filter I can buy at Home Depot. It is a "box filter" 16 by 25 by 3 inches, stuffed with some kind of high-tech fiber spun from cyborg spiders somewhere in China, because each filter costs around 30.00 USD. So I buy them online, from the helpful folks at Discount Furnace Filters. com, the last refuge of the desperate looking for the odd-sized filter. It is an easy place to shop, especially if you know the part number. I know the part number because some previous harassed owner of the house wrote the size and part number on a card and taped it to the furnace; no doubt tired of climbing down on their hands and knees, changing to a different pair of glasses, finding the tiny wrench and opening the compartment to read the numbers on the filter already installed. So I pick out my filters, go to the checkout and then realize that I have NO CLUE what my password is. Or if I had a password. I just want to pay with PayPal and leave, but no, I have to fill out forms, and as soon as I do the PayPal button vanishes, so I have to get up and find my credit card, change my glasses, enter with great unhappiness my personal details, and then my filters are on their way. I spend another 10 minutes filling out a third party survey, looking for a box where I can ask about the missing PayPal button. The survey crashes because I put in a % sign when they asked me how much I got off from using a coupon. I finally get the survey successfully completed, ignore the "get a magazine free for one year and then we will autobill you forever" "prize" at the end, and finally escape to find that they would like me to review my purchase. I decline to write an ode to a furnace filter, because I would write: "It's overpriced but I am hoping by paying too much that it means it will not catch on fire. The last two I bought fit in the space and seemed to work. I hate buying them because it means summer is over and soon I will be trying to decide where to put a humidifier and shocking the cats with static electricity every time they walk across my polyester blankets." Sometimes less is more in advertising.

5 comments:

  1. The internets, making life simpler for all of us.

    Alice is a wonderful creation. Almost the Dr. Who of her day.

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    1. Alice is the awesomest. No matter how weird it gets, Alice is ok with it; or if not, expresses her displeasure. A thoroughly modern maiden in a previous time. I think she would have made a great Companion, too. :D

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    2. Alice and Jane Austen are my fantasy companions now. ^_^
      Looking forward to the new season.

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  2. Furnace Filters...try $200.00 for one. We put in a new heat pump in when we moved here and because we had 5 animals at the time went with the most efficient heat pump and one with extra filtration. The sellers of the heat pump did not tell us it would cost us $200.00 once a year to replace this filter. Our maintenance agreement on the heat pump went from $200.00 a year to $425.00. Now don’t you feel better fishcake. ;)

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    1. I do... but I am apalled at the same time! My relatives in VIrginia had a heat pump at one house they lived in and it was pretty wimpy..maybe it wasn't installed correctly, but eventually they moved and got gas heat instead. Plus it seemed like a drama llama of a heater, always something needed adjusting.

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